There is an epidemic in Scotland no one talks about and it’s the highest cause of death amongst our young men. I’m talking about suicide. It’s the biggest killer of young men in Scotland. In 2018 there was a five year high with 784 men dying. That’s more than three times the number of women who take their own lives. There has been a 50% increase in the number of young men under 24 ending their lives.
That’s got to be the tip of the ice berg because you have to be pretty desperate to take your own life, so it’s fair to assume that there are a lot of unhappy guys out there who don’t go that far but still need help. Our media still perpetuates the myth of the action hero as the model for masculinity. There are loads of books out there about how to overcome your fears and become the macho hard man you want to be. Perhaps that should be the macho man society tells you that you are supposed to be. Men with rippling muscles stare out of every magazine. SAS heroes climb Everest before breakfast and then take out a whole regiment of terrorists on the way home. Then they write books about it telling everyone how to do it and making you feel a bit of a failure because you haven’t managed a sub three hour marathon in the last few weeks.
You are supposed to be strong, confident and a winner. But what if that’s not you? What if you are confused, what if you’ve been unemployed for the last year, maybe the last five years maybe forever. What if people have told you that you are a failure all your life and it’s hard just to get out of bed in the morning. How does that square with the man you are supposed to be.
You can’t tell anyone how you feel because that would just show how weak you are and anyway, you can’t find the words or someone to listen. All your mates are out having a good time so why can’t you. But look a bit closer perhaps they are having the same issue and hiding it just like you.
No one is immune from this epidemic. Even men who have pulled off the macho image and are seen as successful take their own lives. Money, fast cars, and sharp suits can’t protect you.
I wrote this blog because I am so fed up seeing the media pump out stereotypes of men that are contributing to the sense of desperation many men feel. We should be producing books for men telling them how to reach out and get help when they are down not punch people in the face. For me getting out into the outdoors has always been my safety valve. I’m not sure if it’s kept me sane, other people can judge that, but it has given me a place that I can go where my troubles don’t seem to be able to follow. It’s been my contact with nature that has helped me through times when my mental health has faltered, and there’s been a few of those. Mental health is no different from physical health. Sometimes you get sick and need help.
I don’t have any answers and the spoof book cover at the top of this blog is my small way of poking fun at the macho stereotype. If you see someone out there you think is struggling, take a moment to reach out. That might make all the difference.
Here’s a few links that might help
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